Paola Judith Zamora Rojas' family gathered at her Pilsen apartment, as they have done many nights since her death.
Chairs faced an altar decorated with photographs of the 32-year-old mother. It was last Friday, the fourth evening of a nine-day Catholic novena.
Candles near the altar represented St. Jude. Zamora Rojas' older sister, Yahaira Gutierrez, said their mother, Sandra Zamora, prayed to the saint when Zamora Rojas stopped breathing during a near-death experience as a baby.
The family believes her survival was "some kind of miracle," Yahaira Gutierrez said. Sandra Zamora gave her daughter the middle name Judith in the saint's honor.
More than three decades later, St. Jude candles burned as the family prayed for her again.
Zamora Rojas had died by suicide Sept. 17 after what friends and relatives described as a long battle with mental illness.
Surrounding her family were traces of the life she had built: thrift-store records, vintage furniture and secondhand finds. Zamora Rojas' eye for fashion had earned her tens of thousands of followers on social media.
Also attending was Diana Galicia Corona, whose son, Gabriel Cisneros, had been Zamora Rojas' fiancé .
Zamora Rojas was three months pregnant with their daughter, Olivia, when Cisneros, 22, died of an accidental heroin overdose on Mother's Day in 2016. She continued to call Galicia Corona her mother-in-law afterward. Galicia Corona said she considered Zamora Rojas her daughter-in-law.
A week before Cisneros died, Galicia Corona remembers leaving a Pilsen restaurant with the couple when music began playing, and her son took Zamora Rojas' hand, spun her around and danced with her on the sidewalk.
"What Gabriel and Paola had was a love story that should have never ended," Galicia Corona said.
Zamora Rojas never stopped grieving him, her family said. Galicia Corona saw that grief resurface around his birthday, holidays and the anniversary of his death.
Grief and depression were only parts of a life her family said was remarkably full.
Zamora Rojas was raising a daughter she adored, reselling clothing online, attending concerts and hosting traveling musicians in her home.
She showed new friends around Chicago and supported Pilsen artists and businesses, her family said.
And she often was the person others turned to when they were struggling.
At her funeral, relatives said a woman they didn't know told them Zamora Rojas had helped her leave an abusive relationship. Another said Zamora Rojas offered financial help despite her own money struggles.
"I want to make sure people know that Paola wasn't selfish," Yahaira Gutierrez said.
Yahaira Gutierrez said her sister worried about burdening others, sometimes keeping her pain to herself.
Zamora Rojas moved to Pilsen with her family when she was 2 or 3, Yahaira Gutierrez said. While their mother worked, the kids knew which neighbors they could call for help.
"Pilsen grew in her," Yahaira Gutierrez said. "And that's how she grew into Pilsen."
As an adult, shopping locally became part of her identity, friends and family said.
“A lot of her stuff is from somewhere else,” her brother, Cesar Gutierrez said, laughing about the phone calls he received from her asking for help moving furniture she found or thrifted. “You know how you usually go to Target and buy something brand new? She wouldn't go to Target.”
Zamora Rojas began thrifting as a child and later worked at Pilsen Vintage, where co-owners Paul Guizar and Maggie Reynoso said she was family.
She later sold her finds through an Instagram account called Dead End Vintage, modeling the clothing herself.
Galicia Corona said they dreamed of opening a Pilsen cafe that would double as a thrift store. They had worked together at La Catrina Café, which Galicia Corona owned with her husband, Salvador Corona.
Days before her death, Zamora Rojas and Olivia found a pair of dark blue cowboy boots at Pilsen Vintage for an outfit she planned to wear for Mexican Independence Day. The boots were on hold when she passed, and Guizar now said he wants Olivia to have them.
Olivia shares her mother’s love for thrifting, and the two would spend hours browsing vintage stores together, Galicia Corona said.
Online, Zamora Rojas shared outfits, songs and glimpses into her daily life. Sandra Zamora said she used TikTok solely to watch her daughter's videos.
The reach of that online community became clear after her death. Friends and loved ones filled every pew at the Shrine of St. Jude for her funeral mass.
Galicia Corona remembered Zamora Rojas as eccentric and outgoing, calling her "a spark everywhere she went."
For her family, speaking publicly about her struggles is a way to encourage others to seek help.
"It's OK not to be OK," Yahaira Gutierrez said. "It's OK to reach out."
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health issues, call or text 988 or chat at 988Lifeline.org to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
